What a parent should know about the Make-A-Wish Foundation® of Missouri

WHAT IS THE MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION?
Make-A-Wish Foundation is an organization that helps a child and a family to navigate the stresses of serious illness by fulfilling one personal heartfelt wish for the child. The Foundation gives the child a magical, once-in-a-lifetime gift or experience--an interlude of respite and delight in the midst of hospitalizations and treatment schedules, physical limitations, and the fear and disappointments of life-threatening illness.

WHAT IS A "WISH"?
A Wish is a child's personal, heartfelt answer to the question: "If you could have anything in the world, go anywhere, do or be anything, what would you choose?" The Foundation is concerned that the wish be age appropriate, not an interference with treatment and recovery, and truly the child's own wish expressed as much as possible in the child's own words.

MUST MY CHILD HAVE A TERMINAL DIAGNOSIS TO QUALIFY?
Absolutely not. Although Make-A-Wish children have life-threatening conditions, both parents and physicians would be reluctant to call Make-A-Wish if a child had to be pronounced terminally ill first. We would like a wish to be a source of hope, joy and courage; and we would like your child to have a wish experience at a point in the treatment when she is well enough to enjoy and benefit from the experience.

Clearly, Make-A-Wish would usually not be appropriate at the moment of first diagnosis. Your doctor will want to start a treatment schedule and observe how the illness responds. A wish is usually better timed later, when a child is experiencing depression, limitations of various kinds, reactions to the treatment, "cabin fever," or flagging spirits. Teenagers often rebel and even decide not to cooperate in treatment. A wish can then provide an emotional lift, or an incentive to finish a long and difficult treatment schedule.

MUST I WAIT FOR A DOCTOR OR SOCIAL WORKER TO SUGGEST MAKE-A-WISH?
No. You are welcome to call us yourself. Sometimes it is the child himself who calls, because a friend or a roommate has had a wish and it sounds so cool.

If a friend or relative of your family calls us, we will open a file on your child but send the caller back to you. A parent must contact us to initiate the wish process. We will never invade your privacy by calling you first. We wait for a signal from the parents that NOW is the right time.

I DON'T WANT TO RAISE MY CHILD'S HOPES ONLY TO HAVE THEM DASHED.
Make-A-Wish has always served every medically qualified child. We will ask your physician if your child's illness matches our medical criteria. We will ask you if your child is over 2 1/2, under 18, and living in or receiving treatment in our service area. If you live outside our service area, we will connect you to the appropriate chapter. By the time we meet with your child, we will have determined that your child meets those three conditions of eligibility.

WHAT IF MY CHILD WANTS A TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD AND HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A TREATMENT SCHEDULE?
Obviously, we will never interrupt a treatment schedule for a wish trip. We contact the doctor immediately, both for medical qualification and for any warning that the timing of a particular wish would disrupt a treatment. The first priority for everyone is giving your child the best possible medical intervention. Treatment schedules can often accommodate family vacations, but--if they cannot--a trip is a wonderful thing to anticipate and plan and get better for. We can have your child's long-awaited adventure ready and waiting for the moment her treatment ends.

On the other hand, most wishes are not wishes for travel. Your child may have something else in mind, like a computer or a puppy or new bedroom furniture, that will help make a time of hospital or home confinement easier to manage. We want to know about that wish as early as possible--so it can truly be a support for your child during a long, difficult time.

Meanwhile, we have family activities scheduled each year, like parties and sports events. These activities can provide additional distractions and diminish a child's feeling that all of life revolves around the illness and its treatment.

ARE THERE FINANCIAL QUALIFICATIONS?
What qualifies your child for a wish is the child's illness--nothing else. The Foundation does not require financial disclosures and is not a welfare-like program. Most wish families are facing the daunting financial challenges of medical treatment for catastrophic illness, and many are in desperate need. Others are saving every penny for an urgent transplant. Some working parents have lost jobs to long hospital vigils, or are trying to maintain an apartment near Primary as well as a home elsewhere in the state. Still others know that their child has a special wish--like publishing a book of poetry, or arranging a special audience with the Pope--that no amount of money could ever grant without other kinds of assistance. And we have learned that families in crisis are not able, either psychologically or financially, to plan and carry out a fantasy event for a child in the midst of other crushing stresses.

Every child should be encouraged to dream and should be able to make a dream come true. In a time when a child has very little control over her life or her body, a wish is something she can imagine and control in every detail. Asking your child to imagine his wish, moreover, is sometimes the most important part of the whole wishgranting process. A wish can be a practical device that opens, in an easy and natural way, a conversation about the things that are most important to your child at this particularly difficult time.

WHO IS INVOLVED IN A WISH?
It depends on the Wish and the child's desires; but Make-A-Wish Foundation always includes the entire immediate family. All Make-A-Wish activities are designed for siblings as well as the Wish Child. We know that your other children are experiencing grief, anger and deprivation from this illness also; and a Wish can provide at least one outcome that is positive and fun for everyone.

MUST THERE BE PUBLICITY ON A WISH?
No! Publicity on a wish is actually rare, and no publicity will ever be sought without your permission and comfort.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I WANT A WISH FOR MY CHILD?
Please call our office at (800) 548-5058. We know it is a difficult call to make, but we are hoping that you do.